


Frostbitten

by captkatebae



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 14:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13614918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captkatebae/pseuds/captkatebae
Summary: What would have happened if Janeway would have joined Chakotay in the holodeck to go skiing after the events in Macrocosm?





	Frostbitten

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to the prompt: kiss on the forehead, kiss on the nose and kiss on the ear. A small ficlet set after the episode Macrocosm.

FROST BITTEN 

His breath was coming and ebbing, warm against my cheek. It was so frigid now that we had finally stopped that as soon as the warmth hit my skin it crystallized. I felt his eyes on me, pulling me to look at him. This is how it always was, how it always is: the draw, the attraction; nothing around me exists when we are this close. 

I had stopped tending to his injured leg. Uncertain of when my hands became motionless, I instead succumbed to the moment. It was so quiet here; if I listened hard enough I think I could hear the fluffy snowflakes fall to the ground adding to the white blanket that already surrounded us. The wind blew and the fur outlining the hood of my jacket along with wisps of my loose hair tickled the bare skin of my forehead, my jawline. 

His hand was resting on my forearm, the one that I had just been using to tend to him. But now he was moving it. I was nervous. If he touched me now, in these surroundings, with everything I had been through, with my guard down, with him so close to me, I was unsure of myself. Heat; I felt heat between us, but it was so cold. What is my mind - my inner desires doing to me? I wasn’t thinking properly and then his icy fingertips grazed the side of my check, pushing the wispy hair out of my face. He was trying to help but he didn’t know how distracted I was.  
I shouldn’t be here. Or at least, I wasn’t supposed to be. I was minding my own business with pastel oil paints and a piping hot cup of coffee; I had everything I needed. But something had stirred me to change my mind. Was it that I had almost lost everyone I cared about within tens of thousands of light years? Was it that life was so fragile and I was so vulnerable of losing everything that meant something to me, that I had felt the need to live in the moment? Or was it whom had asked me? 

Losing him would have been the most devastating. I had consciously tried to steer my thoughts from that outcome, but then he was there, in my ready room, asking me to join him in the holodeck to go skiing. I was exhausted. Initially I kindly declined, but as soon as he had left, the nagging dark thought of my life without him returned. Take advantage of all of these moments my subconscious told me; you never know when life will be taken from you.

I had questioned my decision when I thought entirely too long about what to wear when I met him. I was vulnerable; vulnerable for his attentions. And I had dressed accordingly. In some ways it wasn’t fair to him, to taunt him, but he never complained. 

If you had asked me ten minutes ago, I would have told you this is exactly what I had needed. The brisk air, the smell of the evergreens, swiftly cutting from side to side as I plummeted down the mountainside with Chakotay in my line of sight following my every move. 

We would meet at the bottom of each run, grinning widely at the exhilaration and excited about where we were going to head next and which ski lift we would take to get there. After hours of the same, we had made our way to edge of the map. The further we had gone, the less people we saw, including the other crewmen that were taking advantage of the skiing holodeck simulation. Finally we had found a run untouched with the snow billowing in the air as we cut our way down. It was the best I had felt all day. After reaching the bottom I had looked at him with pleading eyes, “One more time?” 

He never would have told me no, at least not today. He smiled mischievously at me extending his hand in the air so that I would proceed in front of him. Although chivalrous in nature, the gesture didn’t fool me and I knew what he gained by me always going first. He had a perfect view of all my finest features with the aerodynamic skin tight ski leggings I had chosen to wear as I pushed off in front of him, making my way back to the ski lift. I glanced over my shoulder and smirked wickedly when I saw him quickly avert his eyes from the view he had been taking in all afternoon. 

And now here we were in this frozen moment, as solid as the tundra around us. His fall flashed briefly in front of my eyes. I had stopped abruptly so that he could pass me on the way down the slope and, for once, I could watch him this time. Somehow everything went wrong from there as he swooshed past me and immediately lost control. Managing to stop himself before colliding with any trees, he had fallen at a strange angle. 

My breath had caught but I had reassured myself that he would be fine, as the holodeck safeties were always on. But when I called to him and there was no movement or answer, my heart raced at the same speed I did to intercept him, calling out, “Computer, are the holodeck safety protocols currently on?” The reply, “Holodeck safeties are currently not enabled,” shocked me. Whomever thought that was a good idea would get berated later as I stored the information, but now my mind went straight to Chakotay.

Gloves had come off along with skis as I rushed to his side. “Chakotay, please tell me you are okay? Chakotay,” I questioned more fervently. His head was shaking slightly back and forth as I approached his side, as though he were trying to lift himself from a daze. I fell to his side then, one hand planted on his chest and the other lightly touching the crown of his head as I looked desperately into his eyes.

Blinking several times, his eye’s finally found mine. He looked shocked, but finally my name fell from his mouth softly, “Kathryn.” “Are you okay,” I hastily questioned him. When a half smile hit his lips and he replied, “Now that you are here, yes I am,” I knew there would be no long term damage. 

Quickly, I had looked him over and saw the awkwardly extended leg. On my knees, I had bent over his stationary form and felt down his thigh and calf, applying pressure and continuing to question him. But then I had stopped. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t answering me or the fact that his hand had found its way to the back of my upper thigh as my body extended over his. But the up and down movement of his hand had my full and complete attention of every nerve in my body.

Slowly, I had moved. Pulling myself to sit back on my own feet, his hand had slid the length of my body to rest on my forearm, gripping me reassuringly. That was when I froze completely.

And now I was here in this moment where I wasn’t even meant to be. My mind questioned my desires, if I wasn’t supposed to be here, did any of my actions reflect poorly on me? Did that give me full liberty to do what I wanted and not what I was supposed to do?

“Kathryn,” the name came from his lips again, but this time it seemed to be more of a question. My inhibitions seemed to freeze with the weather around me as I finally turned towards him, but I didn’t allow my gaze to catch his as I instead lowered my cheek to rest next to his. With my lips at his ear, I whispered softly, “You scared me.” My lips softly brushed his earlobe as he shivered underneath the touch.

At a snail’s pace, I moved my lips to his forehead and softly uttered the words against his skin, “You still scare me.” Pressing my lips against his forehead, I closed my eyes and breathed him in. I let the tip of my nose gently brush against him as I moved my lips closer to his and delicately placed a final kiss on his nose. “But I’m tired of being afraid today,” were the last words I uttered when my lips finally found his.  
Icy fingers tangled in my hair as our lips began to explore each other. It was soft and yet passionate. It was breathtaking and yet life. Our tongues played and teased as a glimpse of what our bodies would eventually do. The snow, the evergreens, the cold, everything around me became nothing as I absorbed myself in this kiss. A kiss in a moment, in a place where I never should have been.


End file.
